Screw It!
by fall1ng4u
Summary: OC... Akasuki get transformed into kittens, but don't know how, they just woke up like that... they get found and are now living with one of the most random, caring and perverted people around. How can she help them, or they her? Warning for language!
1. What have i gotten myself into?

**Okay, so i know that i havn't been updating any of my stories, but that's because i lost intrest. I'm going to TRY to keep this one up, bacuse this one, is by far the most amusing one i have written yet.**

So, for those of you who don't know me... get used to it. I'm unpredictable.

I own nothing Naruto/Akatsuki/Finding Nemo related...

Don't ask... you'll find out soon.

And yes, i really do have a cat named blossum, and a ferret named ricky, and a ferret named lila... but they come in later...

So for now, i hope you enjoy my story!

Flamers appriciated! (Told you i was weird like that!)

Fall1ng4U

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><p>"Laha!" I yelled into the phone.<p>

_~What?_

"Mommy brought me home kittens!" I was so happy. The first person I called was my god-sister.

_~OMG! That's so cute! How many, what colors, what names, how old… _Her list kept going on and on.

"Slow your roll. I got 10 kittens, and some of them are pretty trippy. I got a blue one, yes blue, and he's so big… he's a fat cat."

_~Haha, fat cat._

"I got a pretty purple girl… she's such a sweetheart too! Oh, I got a red one… it matches my little fox!"

_~Bet tiffany was pissed._

"You bet right. Anyhow, they want my attention. See you tomorrow?"

_~Hecksers yes! I wanna meet the new kittens!_

"K. Bye bye Laha!"

_~Bye sis!_

_*Beep* *Beep* *Bee-_

I smiled. This morning I was given a box full of kittens from my mommy, saying that she found them on the street and couldn't get rid of them. I'm exstatic.

I looked down at t he kittens that were on my bed, staring at me like. Blossum is not going to be happy…

"Okay sweeties, how about I give you guys some names?" I questioned.

They all cocked their heads to the side.

"Damn cuteness… Well, how about I just search the web, if you see something you like, then try to get my attention. If you don't have a name by the time I get bored, we'll figure something out." I smiled at them and pulled out my laptop.

Right when I opened my laptop, the kittens froze, then ran to the screen. My back ground was of the Akatsuki.

"Damn, didn't think it'd be that easy…" I mused as I watched them. I opened up the internet and they all turned their gaze to me, and for some reason… they looked like glares.

I giggled and searched each individual, starting with Pein. I opened up one of the cooler looking pictures and an orange cat with black on his face went up to the screen.

"So, you're Pein." I stated as the kittens froze and turned their gaze to me. "You all seemed to like my Akatsuki background, and there are 10 of you, with 1 girl. When I pull up a picture just step forewards and then I'll give you that persons name." I smiled down and pet Pein. "You're a cutie, oh fearless leader." I purred as I picked the cat up and put him in my lap, just content with petting him.

The next I pulled up was Konan. The purple kitten stepped forewards and nuzzled my hand. "Yep you're a sweetheart." I muttered as I pet her. "Konan." She stopped nuzzling my hand and looked up at me. "Well, now I know you know your name. That was faster then blossom… but you all can meet her later." I muttered.

The next person I searched was Zetsu, and a black and white kitty stepped forewards. "Well. Your adorable." I patted him on the head as I pulled up Tobi. A little orange tabbie started bouncing around meowing. "Well Tobi, you and ricky are going to have some fun" I muttered.

The next picture I pulled up was of Kakuzu, and a dark brown colored kitten stepped foreward. "Are you obsessed with money also? It's okay… I see why he wants to protect it. Some of the members don't exactly make the wisest choices." I smiled, then picked up Pein. "You, fearless leader, need to keep an eye on your underlings from now on. You got big shoes to fill if I'm naming you after Pein." I kissed the top of Pein's head and pet him until I got him to purr. "You really are cute. All of you are, just like the people you're named after."

The next person I pulled up was Hidan… an almost naked picture of Hidan. A silver kitten stepped forewards, with what looked like a smirk on his face. "Oh My Jashin, you're a badass kitten!" I scooped him up and started to massage him until he purred. "Silver is a badass color." I muttered as I stopped petting him and pulled up Deidara.

"Blondie picks the blond… but I don't blame you. His hand mouth things are kinky." I muttered as I put the kitten Deidara on my shoulder. I think it was just me, but the blue cat looked like it was laughing, same with my badass Hidan kitty.

I pulled up Sasori and the red kitty stepped foreward. "So your gunna be the hot puppet masta huh?" I muttered, petting him.

"I will quote Finding Nemo before I show you the next person. ~Just keep swimming, swimming swimming, what do we do we swim, swim…" I pulled up a picture of Kisame and almost all the kittens looked like they were laughing. "So, do you want to be Kisame? He's the badass cuddle bug that stole one of my bestfriends hearts." I asked the pouting kitten as I pet it's tail. He seemed to brighten up at the mention of my friend. I smiled and pet him. "Kisame it is."

The last picute I pulled up I went to my images, my SCANNED images. "If you don't like the picture let me know, This guy stole my heart when I saw him, so I drew him." I picked up the little black kitty with red eyes and snuggled his head against my cheek. I then pulled up the picture to see all the kittens walk up to the screen, except for the one trapped in my hands. He looked up and into my eyes instead. "Hey, don't look at me like that. You remind me of a kicked puppy, and your to cute for that. Just enjoy your new name Itachi." I muttered as I laid back onto my bed.

I was just about asleep when I heard my dad yell up at me.

"HEATHER! COME TAKE CARE OF YOUR DAMN CAT!"

I sighed and picked up Itachi, putting the cat between my boobs and shirt to hold him and keep him warm. He looked up at me with big eyes. "Don't be scared, you're a heater, your looked comfy, and I think your just plain adorable. I'm going to parade you all around the neighborhood tomorrow morning." I concluded as I opened the door. A black blur was all I saw before I heard the hissing.

I walked over to my bed, and thumped Blossum over the head. Blossum is my cat. She is all black with a little white patch on her chest. Her eyes are a mix between green and yellow. "Be nice. These are the new family members." I grabbed her head between my hands. "Be nice to Konan, and if I find out you raped one of the boys, I will punt you through the wall." I threatened her.

She mewed softly then started nuzzling my cheek. "Suck up." I muttered. That's when she noticed Itachi in my shirt. She cocked her head to the side in a questioning matter. "I did the same thing to you when you were a kit." I explained to her. She seemed to accept, because she nuzzled him with her nose before licking me. "Again, suck up." I smiled at her and pulled Itachi out of my shirt. Setting him on the bed next to Blossum. "Guys, come out here." I called out.

All of the kittens scampered out of random spots in my room. Pein and Konan and Zetzu were sitting on my gamer chair, Hidan and Kakuzu were fighting in one of my dresser drawers. Sasori was looking at my Manga books, which I left on my dresser. Deidara and Kisame were in my closet setting on my stuffies. And Tobi was sleeping inside of my little goat bag that was hanging on my wall.

"Guys, meet Blossum. Blossum, meet our new family." I smiled and pet the oldest cat. She purred and went to meet the others. First was Sasori. They shared some sort of mental conversation that ended where Sasori bobbed his head up and down in answer.

She then went around and greeted the rest, licking Hidan was very amusing, he acted very much like the character he was based off of. She stopped and Pein, cocking her head to the side as he meowed. She turned to look at me and Meowed in her bitchy tone.

"What do you want bish?" I asked as I laid beck down on the bed.

She kept going until I opened the door, almost all of the kittens ran into the bathroom. I swear if anyone saw me, there was a question mark above my head. All of the kittens started mewing at me, except for Itachi who was just staring at me. I bent down to pick him up and I held him in front of my face. "You got something to say sweetie?" I questioned him. He mewed and licked the tip of my nose.

I lost all coherent thought as I hugged the shit out of him. "Goddamn cuteness." I muttered as I pulled him out of my hug and set him on the counter. "Now, whatcha need cuteness." His red eyes blazed as he started at me.

"I wish I was a telepaph." I sighed and shook my head until I noticed blossom at my feet, weaving herself In and out. "Whacha want?"

She bitch meowed again and jumped into the bathtub. "You, the biggest bitch on earth with your constant need to get out of the house, want a bath?" I deadpanned. She shook her head and glanced down at Pein. "He needs a bath?" no again. "_they_ need a bath?" no again. "They _want_ a bath?" FINALLY!

I smiled as I walked into my room and stripped. I looked back to see Konan and Pein yelling and fighting the rest of the boys away.

"Mew?" I looked down to see Itachi staring at me as I was about to take off my shirt.

"One sec sweetness. I'm gunna change then give ya'll a bath." I smiled down at him as I flipped my shirt off and onto the bed. I then went and pulled out a bakini top and a pair of short shorts. I quickly undid my pants and slipped them off, but was shocked as I saw all of the kittens looking at me, minus blossom and konan, but the weird thing was, their stares felt like I was being violated. I sighed and grabbed the shorts before pulling them on. I then moved to my bra, which as I was undoing, the door to my room slammed shut. I turned to see Itachi and Konan sitting in front of it. Itachi's back was turned and Konan's eyes held a questioning gaze.

Dammit… what have I gotten myself into?


	2. oh shit, fangirl switch flipped

**Dammit... This one took some time to make...**

**well... so far i got... 5 people to add this to their allerts/favorites... but no reviews.**

**I'm simple, just say Hi! Seriously, you don't know how lonely i feel when i see these things.**

**Fuck, someone send me a flamer! I'm fine with it!**

**I don't own Naruto/Akatsuki/Aussi/Tee Tree/Head and Shoulders/ or anything else i forgot to mention...**

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><p>3rd person POV<p>

"Your master is a little disturbing, un." Deidara spoke to Blossum as Heather was changing.

"You may say that, but she is also the best person ever. She'll help anyone who needs it, and can keep her emotions in check for the most part… she's really sweet and that's why I stay with her." The black and white older cat commented.

"Stay with her? You mean you left?" Pein asked her as he sat down.

"I tried, she seemed to clingy at the time, she wouldn't let me out of her room, but once I got out, I realized, I like her more then the people around her." Blossum got up and started padding her way down the staires. "Once she's done with you, come down stairs." She called out before she pounced on the hardwood floor.

"Pein-sama, what are we going to do?" Kakuzu asked.

"Stay here until we find away to return to normal, then we find a way back." He stated bluntly. "In the meantime, try to get close to her, if we're to get out of this mess, I'm afraid this is our only choice."

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><p>1st person POV Heather<p>

I smiled when I noticed my Itachi kitty still guarding the door. Konan cocked her head to the side, but I put my fingers to my lips, telling her to not give me away. I smiled when she nodded her head at me. I quickly got to my hands and knees, making as little noise as I could. I sneaked up to Itachi and sat in wait. Once he noticed a presence behind him, he turned, his eyes a brighter red then normal. I quickly lept foreward and gave him a kiss on the tip of his nose. I giggled at his shocked reaction.

"Silly kitty. Cats are like Ninja, you have to know everything that goes on around you." I smirked at him and kissed the top of his head before winking. "You're a very handsome kitty, Itachi, even with that shocked look on your face."

He seemed to snap out of it when I heard laughing in the room.

"Wow, I've never seen your face like that Itachi!" A woman's voice ran throughout my room. I stiffened instantly.

"Wait, I can talk?" She asked once she sobered.

"Apperently." I turned around to see my Konan kitty laughing on the floor. "Wait, you just talked!" My face lit up as I lifted her off the floor. "I knew there was a reason I liked you." I muttered as I kissed her on the top of her head.

"I need to tell Pein." She muttered.

"So, that's why you all flipped out when I showed you the Akatsuki screen savor… Weird, I only hear about stuff like this in Fanfiction. Funny…" I whispered as I examined her.

She started purring. "Your still the sweetest cat I've ever had, even if your not really a cat…" I smiled at her and set her back down. "Well, now this is going to be awkward… I'm about to give 10 S ranked criminals in cats bodies a bath, and one of them can talk… That one just so happends to be the only chick… Damn perverts…" I sighed as I fell onto my bed. "So, do you know how you started talking?" I questioned her.

"I don't know… Itachi made that face and I just lost it, and now I can talk…" She muttered to herself.

"Well, lets get this show on the road…" I sighed and pulled my hair into a ponytail.

I hopped off the bed and opened the door, only to be bombarded by kittens. "Konan, Pein, you two first, everyone else sit in my room, I'll take you downstairs when were through." With that said, I carefully scooped the kittens up in my arms and walked my happy ass into the bathroom. I gently set them on the toilet seat, which is down by the way… do you really think that I would put a kitten in a toilet? Don't answer that… Do you really think I would put PEIN in a toilet? Wait, don't answer that one either… Do you think I would drop Konan in a toilet? No, no I would not.

"How did you get here?" My one simple question seemed to stump him.

"He wants to know what you mean." Konan spoke up.

Pein turned his head to gap at Konan in aww over the fact that she could talk. "How did you do that?" A different voice asked.

"Looks like you figured it out to Pein." I smiled down at the man/kitten.

"Wha- You, how did this happen?" He barked at me.

"Jeez, you're a cat, not a dog, calm down. It seems that in order for you to speak, you have to show some sort of major emotion. Konan went into a laughing fit, and you went into shock, completely OOC of both of your characters. So lets start by getting the others to talk, then we can work on bringing you back to normal, then sending you home." I smiled down at him again. "Okay, now for the awkward part… Bath time…" I groaned at Konan's giggle.

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><p>Within 10 minutes I had both Konan and Pein done. Both dried fast and smelled like Aussi Shampoo.<p>

"Next 2." I called into my room. Deidara and Sasori walked over to me. I picked them up and brought them into the bathroom. "So Sasori, make any new puppets lately?" I looked down and smirked when he stiffened. "I already know. Don't worry about it. Pein already know to. And Deidara…" I looked at the little blonde kitten. "Don't blow up my house." I smiled down at him as I put them both in the empty tub, hecks no. I am NOT going to wash 10 kittens in the same, nasty ass water.

"This will be kinda awkward, just so you know…" I told them before turning on the warm water and washing them. "Sasori, you should be fine, but Deidara, your going to shed… and Bad… you're a puffball, but a very cute one so I can't complain. Sasori, your just cute." I winked at the little puppies as I reached over to grab my Tee Tree Shampoo.

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><p>After around… 20 minutes they were done. The next group I called in were Tobi and Zetzu. "How are you boys doin?" I asked them. Tobi jumped over to me and started pawing my feet. "Yes, Tobi is a good boy." I smiled down at him. "And no, you cannot eat my cat Zetzu. No living things in my house are edible." I looked over at his questioning gaze. "Yes, I know who you really are. Now hop in! Deidara took forever to dry, so I already drew the water." With that said, I grabbed the Head and Shoulders and continued to wash more S ranked Criminal kittens…<p>

"Woot! 5 minute break…" I sighed as I collapsed on my bed.

"Are you okay Heather?" Konan asked me as she jumped onto my tummy.

"Ya, fine… after I give you all baths, I'll bring you down stairs for food. A growling like meow was heard from my stuffed animals. "STFU Hidan. You'll get your food when everyone else does… asshole."

A meow was heard as Konan giggled.

I smirked. "Let me guess, he wants to know how I can understand him?"

"Fuck yeah I do!" Shit…

"Dammit… looks like Hidan's emotion was confusion…" I muttered. "And I liked the quiet too…"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!" He yelled as he jumped up next to Konan.

"Nothing Mr. Jashinist." I smiled and kissed his forehead.

"DAMMIT! Why are you so confusing?" I giggled.

"I'm weird like that. Come on. Kakuzu, It's yours and Hidan's turn." With that said, Konan jumped off of me and I picked Hidan up, cuddling him to my chest. "Your still a badass." I whispered to him.

"Damn right bitch." He smirked.

"Yes I am."

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><p>So, after much arguing, Hidan and Kakuzu were done, I used the ferrets shampoo on them, to make their fur shiny! It also didn't have a scent, so Kakuzu won't get even more of a headache when he's around Hidan. Their bath took… 15 minutes.<p>

"Here, fishy fishy fishy. Here, fishy!" I called into my room. I heard kitten snickers, and Hidan and Konan laughing. "Just you Kisame, you're a big kitty, and you have lots of fur, you'll shed more then Deidara… and I don't want Itachi incognito while in the water." Kisame came over with a wide smirk on his face. "Your lucky I'm a sucker for fat, fluffy, blue shark cats." I muttered as we walked into the bathroom.

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><p>30 minuted later, and a blue, fur covered bathing suit later, Kisame bounded his way back into my room. "Fucker jumped at me as I was shampooing him…" I mumbled as I pulled out a wifebeater and put it on over my bikini top, and tied it as a mid-drift. I then proceeded to take off my Bikini top from underneath.<p>

"What? I'm not changing while you fuckers are looking. Konan is fine, but I definatly won't change infront of Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara." I pointed out.

"What about the others?" Konan asked as I walked up to Itachi.

"Pein, Sasori, and Kakuzu wouldn't give a damn, Tobi wouldn't really pay attention, Zetzu would turn around, and I really don't care if he sees or not, he kinda proved himself earlier." I smiled down at him and started going into the bathroom.

"So, pretty kitty, ready for a bath?" I smiled down at Itachi, who nodded his head yes. "Okay. Hop in." He jumped into the empty tub as I got onto the ground. I bent down and kissed the top of his head as I turned on the hot water. "Fuck, It's co-" My voice stopped in my throat as I turned away from a full sized, naked Itachi. "Towles right there…" I pointed my finger next to me.

"Thanks." His voice made my heart swoon. "You can turn around now." He stated boredly.

"Not chancing it… PEIN!" I yelled as I opened the door.

"Wha- How is he human?" He asked as they all walked towards the door.

My face was flaming as I covered my eyes. "Do some sort of jutsu to make him put clothes before I lose it." I whimpered.

Oh shit… fangirl switch flipped…


	3. What the hell is going on?

**Okay, I know your all out there... i can see you! don't tell me I cant... I'm just ninja like that. Ask Itachi...**

**Well back on topic, I got my first review yesterday!**

**Because of this traumatizing event... this chapter is dedicated to...**

**HELLSCREAM89**

**Thank them for giving me motivation to keep writing this story...**

**Anyhow, I do not own Naruto/Akatsuki/Grilled cheese (Unless it comes from my house...)/or World of Warcraft... Don't ask, you'll find out soon!**

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><p>"Cold water?" Pein asked as I sat on my bed. I made Itachi stay out.<p>

"Apperently… but you guys can turn yourselves into kittens incase I need you to, right?" I asked him. He was still in kitten form, sitting on my leg as I petted him.

"I suppose…" He muttered as I got him to purr.

"Cool. Now, all men in the bathroom. Put clothes on before you come out." I pointed to the door as I grabbed Konan.

"What about Konan, bitch?" Hidan asked as he pawed my comforter.

"Konan is a girl, I'll help her when you guys are done, just so I don't have a fangirl freak on you…" I muttered as I started pulling out clothing. "Konan can borrow my clothes, she looks my size, and then we have to go shoping to get the men clothing… no offence but you don't look normal with those cloths. We were different things." I explained as I looked through my closet.

My hand stopped on a short, beep blue and purple party dress. It would barely cover her butt, but it would look amazing. I grabbed that, and a pair of black leggings, underwear, and a bra to match.

"We're done, yeah." Deidara's voice spoke through the door.

"Mkay, transform to kittens so I can come out." I explained as I grabbed Konan with the cloths pile.

"Why?" Sasori's voice floated about.

"My house, my rules."

"Fine." With that said, a almost silent 'poof' was heard as I exited my room to go across the hall, to the bathroom.

Within seconds I had Konan changed and in a human form.

"I like this dress." She muttered as she played with the material at the end.

"So do I, but it looks better on you, you can keep it." I smiled at her as I set her on the toilet. "Now, let me do your hair."

A half an hour later I finally let her out of my bathroom.

"She may be amazing, but don't go into the bathroom with her." She complained as she sat in a chair in my room.

"Hey, you look good, don't complain." I sat on my bad and laid back on my bed, only to run into someone. "Oh god, please help me…" I muttered as I looked back to see who it was… yepp, time for a fangirl moment.

I screamed… loud, and latched onto the Itachi, as if he was going to fly away, and at that moment, I think he wanted too.

"It's you, it's you, it's you! Oh my gosh." I smiled and sang, sitting on his lap and running my hands through his hair.

I could faintly hear the laughing in the background.

_Calm down. Calm down…. Think nice thoughts… NOTHING IS NICE THEN THIS!_ My mind wouldn't let me comprehend anything other then the fact that I, Heather Marie, was sitting on the lap of one, Itachi Uchiha…

"Okay I'm good." I stated boredly, smile plastered onmy face as I lept off of him and my bed. "Let's go get food… I'm starving."

I started walking towards the door, but then a thought hit me. "Back to kittens please… I don't want to get in trouble for having 9 menin my house. Konan is fine though." I exclaimed.

"Fine." Pein stated. In an instant, I had 9 kittens all around me.

"Coolio, lets go!" We walked our way down the stair. "KITTEN ALERT!" I screamed. My brother came running around the corner, in all his 7 year old glory.

"Aawww, they're cute, but I thought that there were 10?" Marcus asked as he picked up Pein.

"Be nice to Pein, and yes, the purple one is sleeping. This is my friend Konan, her and the purple cat have the same name." I explained as marcus pet Pein.

"Are any of then girls?" He looked up at me with big eyes.

"Just Konan, the men have finally overtaken our house."

"YES!" He smiled and took off with pein, picking up Sasori in his haste.

"LET THEM EAT!" I giggled as I walked into the living room.

"Blue kitty!" My sister ran forward and snatched Kisame from the floor.

"Big blue kitty. That's Kisame, be nice or he will bite you. Kisame, if she does anything wrong, you have permission to bite her." The cat nodded his head. I smiled and kept walking, unaware that my mom snatched another two… Hidan and Deidara were taken by my mom to sit on the couch with her and watch her play WoW… Yes, our family are nerds.

My neighbor anna ran in and snatched Kakuzu and Tobi… poor Kakuzu. She bolted out of the house, and I saw her run over to hers out the window.

"Haha, my cats, have just been jacked…" I sighed and picked up a hesitant Itachi. "Don't woory, fangirl moment over…" I smiled down at him as I put him in my shirt again. "Just sit tight, I'm still keeping at least one kitten with me, and Konan…" I smiled over at he and walked into the kitchen. "What would you like to eat?"

"Anythign will do just fine thank you." Was her simple reply.

"Grilled cheese comin up." I snickered at her odd expression. Within seconds I had pulled the hot iron out of the cupboard and plugged it in, letting it heat up.

I grabbed the cheese from the fridge, and then the bread from the couter, and the butter from the counter as well.

5 minutes later, the food was cooking as I pulled out the bowls, Konan helped me set up food and water for them as our own food cooked.

"DINNER KITTIES!" I yelled out as anna walked through the door.

"Oh, good timing on my part. I like these two, what are their names?" She asked as she set them down by the food.

"Kakuzu and Tobi."

"What is up with you and weird names?" She shook her head with a smile.

"Hey, they like them! Besides, this is my friend Konan." I introduced her. She smiled and waved at Anna.

"Nice to meet you. Do you think you could babysit my kids tonight?" She turned to me.

"Ask Konan, and if we do, we'll be bringing the kittens." I stated flatly as I finished our food.

"That's fine."

After around an house of the kittens, eating, playing, fighting… and introducing Konan to the family. I felt something stir in my shirt.

"Wha- Oh, I forgot you in there, didn't I? You could have spoken up, t in anycase, did you have a nice nap?" I pulled Itachi from my cleavage and laid him down in my arms.

He gave off a soft mew before yawning, his tongue sticking out. I smiled and got up off the couch, heading into the kitchen to grab his food. I set him on the counter, the bowl next to him, and I leaned over the edge, watching him. He sniffed the food, then accepted it. I smiled inwardly at him.

My hand subconsciously started to pet him, making him arch his back into it. I giggled as he stopped eating. He looked over at me, a question held within his gaze.

"You're a cute kitty… you remind me of blossom, when she was a kitten." I smiled down at him, then picked him up and kissed the top of his head again. When I went to set him down, I paused. He had started licking my hand.

"We're leaving now. See you after Karate." I silently listened as the door creaked closed, Konan saying goodbye to my parents and siblings as they left.

What the hell is going on?


	4. Fucking Bitches

**Fucking shit... I hate writers block... It seems i can only write in school... dammit...**

**well... yep, that's about it. My damn imagination pooped out on me... fuck, all the good fanfiction seem to be running out... anyone want ta help meh out!**

**Send links to awesome Naruto, Yu-Gi-Oh, or Ouran High pweeze!**

**OH, OC junkie here, if anyone haz an amazing Avatar: The Last Airbender one, SEND IT! I Zuko!**

**Okay... short one, but here it is!**

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><p>"You're fucking kidding." I deadpanned. "I'm kill him…" I walked out into the living room and dropped the black kitten on the couch. "Change her back someone."<p>

Sasori stepped fore ward and did a couple of hand signs, and the black cat turned blossom.

"Fucker, I'll kill him…" I muttered as I walked up to my room. I completely ignored the fact that Itachi was sitting on my bed, sharingan blazing and looking at me hesitantly. I grabbed my black skinny jeans, blue bikini top, and big pink over shirt and went to the bathroom. A couple minutes later, I walked out, bottle of gel in one hand, and a package of bobby pins in the other. I quickly did my hair and snagged my 7 inch skin color stilettoes. I to face the jackass who was sitting on my bed.

"Forget my fangirl moment. And Screw you. I'll be back in a few hours, I expect you all to be kittens by the time my parents get home. Your in charge, I'm only taking a few with me. Peace." With that said, I ran out of the room and downstairs. "Who wants to go on fieldtrip to entertain children?"

I looked around to see that only Tobi rose his hand…

"Mkay, Tobi, Hidan, Sasori, aaannnnnnddd… Konan kitty!" I smiled as Hidan and Sasori groaned. "Come on… I need company too." I gave the two my best kicked puppy face.

They easily caved as I started to get my wallet from my backpack. "Tee 2! Now, turn into kittens please… Anna will kill me if I bring dude's into her house!"… I smiled at them and they sweatdropped. "Okay, so her kids are the devils on crack… I need some sort of piece of mind… Okay, rules… Hidan, no sacrificing, Sasori… please don't leave my side… and Konan and Tobi should be good with children. If they hurt you, come see me… we ready?"

I smiled as they all took kitten forms. "K, hop up, and away we go!" I put Tobi and Konan on my shoulders, Hidan in my jacket pocket, and I put Sasori part way in my shirt, like I had done to Itachi.

I quickly hopped my way over to Anna's front porch.

"Honey, I'm HO-OME~" I sang as I opened the door wide.

"K, Put kids to bed at 8, Food is on the counter, computers where it always is, already unlocked, clean up after the cats." I smiled at her and waved as she got in her car to leave.

"Wow, what a bitch…" Hidan muttered from my pocket.

"Nope, just today. Her husbands being an asshole and it's their anniversary…" I smiled down at him and made my way into the house.

"Done!" I yelled as I sat on my bed. "That, was not worth, 30 bucks…" I dramatically panted.

"Hey, It wasn't THAT bad…" Konan muttered as she went to sit by Pein.

"You didn't have to fish a cat out of the washing machine…" I blankly stated, "THEN make sure they didn't put ANOTHER one in the microwave…" Tobi and Hidan both looked down. "It's not your fault… Those kids are evil, I already told you." I smiled down at them and pet their heads. "Time for bed. I have to go get Laha tomorrow."

I walked over to the door and snagged the rest of the kittens from the bathroom. "Bed time." I quickly shut the door and turned out the light. On my way to the matress'… yes, I don't have a bed, just a whole bunch of matress' piled on top of each other… I snagged Kisame and jumped onto my bed, cuddling with the fat kitty.

"What are you doing?" Sasori asked as he jumped up with me.

"Home made heater… I don't see a problem with it. Unless you wanna cuddle with me too!~" I cooed in a sing-song voice.

He just ignored me and cuddled into my blanket, right behind my head. I smiled to myself and kissed the top of Kisame's head.

Within seconds, I fell asleep, to the soft purring of kittens no less.

I woke up to my face being nuzzled by wet noses.

"EEewwww… Grody!" I wiped my hand along my jaw to clean off the… whatever it was.

"Good, your up. You said something about needing to go get someone." Pein said from the foot of my bed, in his human form.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked through a yawn.

"Your mother said something about 'Dick Golf' While your bother and father said 'Disk Golf". And your sister went to her frriends, you have to pick her up tomorrow after you take your friend home." He explained as I sat up.

"Dick golf and disc golf are the same. My mom and I make fun of all the guys about it. We think a few of them are gay." I explained as I made my way over to my closet. I quickly pulled out my ripped shorts and a random tanktop and headed my way into the bathroom.

After 5 minutes I walked down the stairs to be greeted by a bunch of S Class Criminals.

"So, your seriously not scared of us, yeah?" Deidara asked as I walked into the bathroom, leaving the door open, and grabbing a staightner, plugging it in.

"Why should I be? If you were going to kill me, then you would have already. You wouldn't be talking about it. That's like people who go around saying that they're going to kill themselves. They wouldn't tell anyone, they'd just do it. I'm not stupid." I stated as I put on my eye-liner.

I quickly finished and piled my way out of the bathroom to the livingroom. Grabbing my keys and my wallet, I headed towards the door, only to be stopped my Kakuzu and Zetzu.

"You have to take at least one of us." Kakuzu stated as everyone came out.

"Okay, who wants to go meet my God-Sister?" I questioned. Hidan, Sasori, Deidara and Tobi all raised their hands. "K… Kittens please. Corey wouldn't like me showing up with 4 hot guys, only to have Laha Share a seat with one of them." I smiled as they transformed. "Mkay. Let's go." I picked up Deidara and Tobi and put them on my shoulders, and Hidan and Sasori were in one hand while I maneuvered with the other.

Within and hour of fighting, horrible singing, and the bopping of glass… with my giggling… we made it to Laha's house.

I quickly snagged all the kittens and put them in my oversized purse I kept in the back. "Stay in here until I pull you out, and keep quiet."

Fucking bitches…


	5. God Fucking Dammit

**I, am SSOOO Soory it took this long... I had writers block, and i am the QUEEn of procrastination...**

**I own nothing Naruto, Akatsuki, Tom's tariyaki, 76, or Phinease and Ferb related...**

**Yep, that's about it... If oyu want me to update faster, message me non-stop, pester me, make me, do SOMETHING other then just wait...**

**Thank you for your time, awesome readers!**

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><p>"Honey, I'm Home!~" I sang as I walked into Laha's house.<p>

"Heather!" A very well know feminine voice rang through the house.

"JORDAN!" I screamed her name as she shot up the stairs and tackled me into the door.

"Down girl, down!" Jin, Jordan and Laha's mom was standing at the top of the stairs with an invisible fishing pole, trying to yank her off me. Ya, like that'll work.

"Ready?" Laha called as she appeared by the front door.

"Yep. Peace my second family!" I yelled as I ran out to the idoling car.

Within seconds, we were in the car and on the road. "I have a surprise for you…" I muttered to her.

"What, what what!" I smiled at her enthusiasm.

"Look in my grey bag." She smiled and reached in the back for it.

"OMG Kittens! Can I name them?" She asked with big puppy dog eyes.

"Already have names. The silver is Hidan, and that is a pervert kitten. Be careful, he will try to peek at you in the shower. The blond one is Deidara, another pervert… yes I have pervert kittens… don't judge me." I had to add that at the smirk that was printed on her face.

"You taught them…" She muttered as she cuddled the calico kitty.

"No, they'd be worse if I taught them."

"True. I'd be scared if you taught them." She giggled.

"That one is Tobi, and the cute red one is Sasori. Sasori is one of my favorites." I smiled and pet the kitten that made it's way onto my lap. "All of the kittens are boys, except the purple one, and blossom."

She smiled and started to play with them. "I have another surprise when we get home. Mom texted me and they aren't coming home tonight, so it's just you and me. Tiffany is at a friends house." I winked at her as she turned the music up all the way, my favorite song playing.

Head-banging is an Olympic sport when I do it… just saying, don't try to beat me. You'll lose. Ask Laha… And it helps when the song is by Hinder!

So, after driving through the turnabout, least to say, the kittens don't like cars anymore.

"So, What about the other kittens?" Laha asked as she pulled Tobi off of the dash. Did I ever explain why I call her Laha? Well if I did, here it is again. Laha's real name is Ariana Renae… And she wants to adopt a Hawaiian kid and name then Laha… So I call her Laha, or Ana, or Ari, until she gets that kid.

Anyhow, "There's a big fluffy one, He's blue, and his name is Kisame, he's a cuddle bug, so be careful. The orange one is Pein, don't mess with him, well, you can pet him, that's about it, he'll try to get you if you try anything else. There is a pretty purple one, her name is Konan. A black and white one, that looks hella awesome, I think you'll claim him, his name is Zetzu. A brown-ish one with black markings, his name is Kakuzu, and then there's a black one with red eyes… Guess what I named him?"

"Itachi Uchiha, you're really predictable. You named them all after the Akatsuki." She smirked at me.

"You know it. So, what do you want to eat? My vote is Tom's Teriyaki." I called out as she turned the music down.

"Sounds fine here. We taking the kittens, or are we dropping them off?"

"We can take them. They deserve to be pampered." I smiled as I pet Sasori again, giggling a little when he purred.

Within a half an hour, we were in front of Tom's. The place itself was nice and… I don't know, oriental I guess… It was really pretty though.

We walked inside, ordered, found a seat, and stuck the kittens on the table in front of us. I smiled as they ran around sniffing all the stuff on the table. Sasori waddled his way over and sat down In front of me, cocking his head to the side.

"I think he wants attention Heather." Ariana called out as she pet Hidan, who was trying to climb his way into her chest.

"Don't let him in there."

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><p>I smiled as we passed by the 76 station at the bottom of the hill. I never met the owner, but the person that works there most of the time is named Kelly. Kelly is this awesome dude I know who does hair for a living. He works there with his boyfriend, but I've never met him either.<p>

The rest of the ride was silent as we made our way to my house.

I smiled as we pulled into the driveway, and ito the house, and up the stairs to drop her stuff off. No kittens so far.

"So, where are the other kittens?" Damn! Did she read my mind? Oh well.

"They're hiding, don't worry. We'll find em." I smiled at her as I opened my door.

"Uh, Heather? Why are there a whole lot of gorgeous people in your room?" She stared past me and into my room.

"Heh, heh… meet my kittens. They turned into people. Don't look at me like that, I'm serious." I deadpanned.

"Wow, never heard of that happening… weird. And those kittens from before?" She looked down at the 3 kittens in her arms… Deidara, Tobi, and… Hidan. I was holding Sasori on my shoulder. He seemed comfy enough…

"Hidan's aperv, that's why I told you to keep him out of you shirt… Put them on the ground and they'll change." She did as I said, and they poofed back, well, all but Sasori, because I didn't put him down. I thkn he had fallen asleep, he was a real cat, not a wooden one…

Ariana's eyes were wide, her mouth was open and her eyes were about to bug out. She turned to me with fake anger. "You've been holdin out on me, where's my money bis-nitch?" She held her hand out and smiled at me.

I smirked and turned around, sticking my butt out at her, "Reach in and see if you find any."

**SLAP!**

Damn… that hurt…

"You're not allowed to steal mommies genius-ness." She said as she walked past me into my room.

"Damn bitch, you got her good." Fuck you Hidan.

"Are you okay?" I turned my tearfilled gaze to see Konan above me.

"Give me a minute, I'll get her back." I smiled at her and stood straight. "Bitch, you better watch your back!"

"Kiss my ass."

"Bend over!"

"OKAY!" She bent over and I quickly heated my hands.

_**SLAP!**_

"OOWWW FUCK! YOU WIN!" She ran from my room downstairs.

My face pailed. "I'll see you in about, 5 minutes… don't come downstairs…" With that said, I ran down the sairs, into Ariana's back. "OOF!"

"I'm board… Let's dance." I smiled and we turned on the 50 inch flat screen I had downstairs… No, I'm not rich, we bought it off a family friend for $400… cheap cheap. We have one of our computer towers attatched to it, Giant moniter… yes, I an a nerd, and a geek, and everything in between, up until dork. I am not a whale's dick.

I flipped to the music section of the computer and pulled up my dad's best friends song… Alethiometer… I don't know if its on YouTube or not, so don't ask…

I smiled and danced, shaking our hips and singing to the other songs that came on. I smiled, giggled, and turned around, only to find myself dancing with Hidan. I rolled my eyes and turned back around to see Ariana, my Laha, dancing with Deidara. That got me… I grabbed Ariana, stuck my tongue out at the Blond Bomber, and danced with my Ari. My Laha. Mine, no bomber is gunna take her from me.

"…"

The music had finally ended and I was bored. Laha sat in front of the T.V. pouting.

"Phineas and Ferb…"

"…"

"Phineas and Ferb…"

"There a hundred and four days of summer vacation and school comes along just to end it…" Yes, I just broke out in song in my own home. Laha's face lit up and the Akatsuki looked kinda creeped out and curious.

I smiled and turned on a separate playlist, all Phineas and Ferb songs…

I left her to her music to take a shower…

That gave me time to think… I don't wanna think.

God fucking dammit…


	6. Fucking Ninjas

**Feel special, I finnished it just for all of you, and it's my birthday.**

**17 years of age... geeze im getting old...**

**Oh well... I don't own... ya you know the drill.**

**Thank you those who reviewed, much appriciated, same with those who favorited and alerted...**

**This might be a little OOC but bear with it, it will get better. I already started on 7.**

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><p>I hate my life… It's official.<p>

I had to take Ari home, and the Akatsuki, well SOME of them, refuse to turn into kittens… to top it off, my parents are on their way home…

I fucking hate this shit…

Damn Akatsuki…

Damn it…

Their home…

Double damnit…

Shit…

"Get to my room… and keep your mouth closed, or you can transform into kittens and shut your mouth. Pick NOW!" Oh, I was beyond pissed. And lucky me, Pein decided not to keep me pissed. He transphormed everyone not willing to transphorm, while the others transphormed themselves willingly… I think he loves me, to bad I gave him to Konan…

"Thank you Pein. Ready to meet the rest of my family?" I smiled at the kitty and picked him up, along with Konan and placed them on the arm of the couch. I picked up Kakuzu, Sasori, and Kisame and put them on the couch cushion, next to the two leaders.

Itachi came up and sat on the floor, looking up at me expectantly. I quirked an eyebrow at him. "You must think highly of yourself if you think I'm going to treat you with any respect with the way you treated me all weekend. Find your own way up Uchiha." While my pride was up, I turned and picked up Hidan before kissing the top of his head, and setting him back down. "Hidan's been better then you, He danced with me, he didn't ignore me, and if I go fan-girl on him for 20 seconds, I bet he wouldn't ignore me. He'd yell and cuss at me."

"What the hell are you doing?" I smiled and turned to see my mom walking through the door.

"Reprimanding one of my kittens. Ari came over, she got to meet them, I named the after the Akatsuki."

"You're a fruitloop."

"And your my mother, where do you think I get it from?"

"That." She pointed to my dad walking through the door.

"What?" He asked as he set his disc golf bag down.

"Mom called you a fruitloop…". All of the kittens were watching us.

"Yep. But she's a bigger fruitloop. And you're a dork. Your point?" He accused as he walked into the kitchen to put his other crap away. My dad smokes pott, he's got a green card. My mommy has a green card, but she doesn't smoke it. Dad sells it to his friends who have green cards for a profit. We're legal.

My mom put her jacket away and walked over to the couch, seeing Itachi on the floor, he gave her a soft mew, that apparently melted her heart, because she picked him up, kissed him on the head, and set him next to Kisame. Ass hole, my mommy is a preally big pushover… I think he just realized that. He'll be in for it when she finds out that he isn't really a cat.

I scoffed at the smug kitten and pulled out my laptop. Fuckers gunna be like that, I'll ignore him.

I smiled as I pulled up my newest favorite game… .

After about an hour, I felt something move on my leg, and looked to see Konan pushing Itachi. I msiled at Konan and stuck my tongue out at Itachi. That's what he gets. Konana gave him one last push, mewed, then left. Itachi looked up at me and mewed. I had no idea what he was saying.

"I don't speak kitty…" I muttered as I picked him up. He nodded his head towards the stairs. I shurugged and started for them, only to be stopped by Tiffany taking Itachi from my hands and going upstairs herself. When she got home, I don't know. "Hey, give me back Itachi, go steal Tobi!" I yelled as I chased her up the stairs.

"Fine, bring me Tobi, you get your lover boy." She smirked and shut her room door.

"Bitch…" I muttered under my breathe as I walked up the stairs to her room. "Sorry Tobi. I'll pay you back. But I think Itachi had something he wanted to say, can you endure for the time being?" I asked the poor kitty who looked at me then Meowed.

"Yes, Tobi is a good boy." I smiled at him as he purred. I rapped on the door, made a quick exchange, and headed to my room, only to notice, she had handed me a stuffed animal.

Oh, I was steaming… I kicked her door in, only to find her dressing up my poor cats. And my sister is 14 years old…

I walked over to her, slapped the back of her head, and grabbed both kittens and stompped my way to my room. "Bitch don't touch my babies again. I'll sick my daughters on you." I yelled as I put them both down. I quickly pulled the dress off Tobi, he ran downstairs, with what looked like tears in his eyes.

Before Itachi could wander off, I picked him up, and carried him to my medium/small room, shut the door and plopped on my bed. He was wearing a poofy blue dress that looked brand new. I smiled at the glaring kitten and helped him out of it.

He jumped to the floor and transformed in a pook of smoke, staring at me with his Sharingan blazing.

"Now, you wanted to talk to me?" I asked as I sat up.

He just glared before turning to leave. I grabbed the end of his cloak, wide eyed.

"No one's home, they all just left for food." He turned back around to leave, I just left my hand on his coat still. He turned back around and raised an eyebrow.

"Your mad at me… What did I do?" I asked curiously, seriously, what did I do.

"Something called a… 'fangirl moment'." He raised his eyebrow further.

I rolled my eyes. "Get over yourself Uchiha. For most of my life, I thought that you were a fictional character in a book I fell in love with. Just because you had fangirls there, doesn't mean I'm like them. I had 1 freaking moment that I lost control. Your just some fucking asshole who thinks to highly of themselves to see what others are really trying to say. Those fucking fangirls only care about appearance. So get off your high horse and realize what's important to you asshole." And my rant is done… do you know how long I've been wanting to do that to someone? Itachi was the unlucky one to aggravate me enough to get it… fucking Uchiha.

He just sat there, staring at me. I huffed and let his jacket go, before climbing off the bed and making my way towards the door. Just before I touched the doorknob, a hand grabbed mine. I sighed and turned to look up at the Uchiha, only to see black eyes staring at me instead of Sharingan ones. I cocked my head to the side as he pulled me to him…

Can you say awkward… not only is this HIGHLY OOC, but another is that I just cussed him out… if this is my reaction then I should do it more often.

"Thank you."

What? Why is he thanking me?

"Uh, your welcome… what did I do?"… no seriously, I'm stumped.

"Don't worry about it… just, thanks." With that said, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Fucking ninjas…


	7. What the hell just happened?

**Man, this sucks... no, not this story, the drama in my life.**

**WOOT! just turned 17! I love it. Not lying... note sarcasm.**

**Again, thanks to those who added my story, and to those who reviewed. Greatly appriciated.**

**So, here's 7... srry about the OOC Uchiha on the last one, but i needed to write SOMETHING!**

**So, read, review, add, whatever.**

**Do you know how bad I have been wanting a flamer! Igt would make my day is someone would send me one.**

**Have fun! fall1ng4U**

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><p>I'm so fucking confused…<p>

It's Monday morning, and the kittens won't wake up and get off me… I'm sleeping on my bed, Pein, Konan, and Sasori at my head, and on my pillow. Tobi and Deidara are on my stomache, Kakuzu and Hidan are on my thighs, Kisame is on both my lower legs. Zetzu opted to sleep at the end of my bed, Blossum in my armpit, and I have yet to see Itachi since he poofed on me.

I turned and noticed the clock said 2:30… shit, I need more sleep… and I have to pee.

I groaned inwardly and moved my arms to scoop blossom and throw her on the ground, well more like on the pile of pillows the Akatsuki put down because there wasn't enough room on the bed for them.

I smiled when tobi started pawing my tummy in his sleep. Such a cutie, well, at least Tobi is. Madara is just plain Hott! Still not as hot as Itachi, but pretty up there.

"Heather." Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Madara." I whispered and nodded my head in acknowledgement.

"So you know." He muttered as he padded his way towards my face..

"I do. I do not wish to put your organization in danger, but all I ask is that you don't harm anyone else. Once you find a way back, be careful, If you wish, you may punish me as you see fit, but only after you find a way back, and are ready to go." Damn, I'm good at negotiating.

He nodded his head and pawed my chest. "Wise choice." I smiled and started petting him with my hand. He purred.

"You Tobi or Madara?" I whispered to him.

"Don't count yourself so lucky." Ah, Evil man is still here.

"Ya know, Tobi might be a good boy," I smirked and put both hands on his head. His eye looked straight into mine. "but Madara is a bad boy, a VERY bad boy."

I smiled and then noticed that he had his Sharingan on. Within seconds I was back to being in a light sleep. Maybe he's not as bad as I thought?

I woke up to someone shaking my shoulder.

"Up, you have school." Great mom, just friggin fantabulous.

"'Mkay…" I slurred, great, just what I need…

The door clicked as I got out of bed, the kittens were all around the room, Even Itachi, apparently he came back before I woke up. I grabbed my skinny jeans, and a strappledd dress with an over coat. Completely not carring about if anyone see's me, I stripped and changed there. I yawned again as I turned to look over by my bed for my necklace. Yes, the kittens were staring at me wide-eyed, does it look like I give a shit about stripping in front of them? I don't.

As soon as I got finished, I grabbed my bag, shoes and keys and ran down stairs. Only to be followed by 2 kittens.

"Leader said we need to go with you, un." Crap… the blonde terrorist…

"Hope you like freezing, I ride a bike." I muttered as I pulled out an extra duffle bag, small plastic bowel, and water bottle. "K, hop in." I put the bag on the ground and Sasori and Deidara hopped in.

Within 15 minutes we were at school.

I heard hissing from the small bag. Shit. I opened it, not a good Idea. "Stop!" They did as I asked. "If they find out I have you, it's a promise that I WILL get rid of you. I will let you out, and let people see you, but no talking, no transforming, and NO attempting art." I stared at them pointedly.

"Okay, yeah." I smiled at the blonde kitten.

My school, is very nice. The reputation… is a piece of crap. The only thing that my school is really known for, Is the teen pregnancies, drugs, and music department.

The walls are pretty red brown, but _very_ sharp. The hallways are always crowded, and there are to many stairs… Yes, I'm lazy.

After getting my breakfast from the cafeteria, I headed to my locker, at the _other _end of the school, then back again for my first period, which doesn't start for another half an hour. What? I like being early.

"MOMMY!" Crap.

Within seconds I was flat on my ass, with two girls on top of me. One is Nikki, and one is Emi. Both older then me. I made a fanfiction and they were both my twin daughters, Ritsu and Chiharu.

"Off, I have a surprise." Wow, go me. Way to be blunt…

The bag had, thankfully, landed NEXT to us, not UNDER us. They would have been PISSED!

"Mew." I sighed. Way to give it away guys.

The bag was stolen from my hands and turned inside out. Both girls had a kitten in their hands, cuddling them. Deidara liked it, Sasori, didn't. I quickly snagged Sasori from Nikki and kissed the tip of his nose. He seemed stunned. I put him on my shoulder as I picked my stuff up from off the floor, and took it to my seat. Here's the Arrangements:

XX XX XX XX

XX XX XX XX

XX XX XX XEmi

XX Me/Nikki XX SamX

Well, I tried to make it even… didn't work.

"GUYS! I found my husband!" And there's Sam…

"Where?" Emi piped up, searching for her husband as well.

"Sasori was hiding under my bed with Deidara… I think he bats for the other team now." She pouted.

All I did was laugh, and laugh, and laugh some more. Why? Sasori heard the WHOLE thing, AND Deidara. My best day ever. No sarcasm in that sentence whatsoever… well, at least only half. I'm in for it later.

"Why are there kittens here?" Sam asked as she took the glaring cat off my shaking shoulders.

"M-Mi-ine… Ca-an't-t br-bre-eath-the…" I have a problem with laughing.

"Why are you- oh wait, you think those yaoi pairings are crap. My bad."

I shook my head no until my breathing got better. "Only 1 pairing is approved by me. KakuHida." I smiled at them. "Zombie Bros for life!" They giggled at me, and Deidara looked like he was choking back laughter. Sasori was still seething as he scratched Sam. She screetched and he jumped from her grasp, padding his way over to me. I raised an eyebrow and picked him up, smirking on the inside. I kissed him on the nose again before putting him on my lap and petting him. "Good boy." He purred.

So, other then that one little, problem, school went by without a hitch. People loving on Deidara, while I loved on Sasori. He didn't let anyone near him, unless I personally handed him off. He was still a little reluctant.

No one was home when I got there, well, except some deranged S-Ranked criminals.

"How was school?" I smiled at Konan as the door shut, Ferrets running up to me with Hidan hot on their trail.

"Touch them, and I will find a way to kill you, Punk ass." Was the only warning Hidan got before Deidara bursted out laughing. "Kakuzu, come get your bitch before I do something about him. Sasori, will you get your brat. My head hurts, I'm hungry, and all I want right now is a nice, warm, LONG, bath. Konan, you can come join me." I winked at her and walked away. I could hear Deidara laughing and practically SEE the confusion on Konan's face.

"What the fuck was THAT?" Hidan, you and your big ass mouth…

"THAT, was a dare form Sasori." I smirked at the puppet master as he smirked back. "Your turn blondie." I winked at him and watched as his face turned from amusement to dread. On the way home, we played truth or dare. Deidara could not hear the one Sasori gave me, Sasori could not hear the one I gave Deidara, and I could not hear the one Deidara gave to Sasori.

Deidara walked over to Tobi and wrapped his arms around him. "Not done yet!" I sang as Sasori's smirk widened.

"Tobi is my friend, Tobi is the best boy in the world. Tobi is never a bad boy." Oh man, he sounded like he was going to cry!

I laughed, and laughed, and laughed some more. Along with Kisame, and Hidan.

"Done." Deidara walked over to me and smirked, he looked pissed, but all the same. "Your turn Sasori."

I sighed and turned around to came face to face with the puppet master. Within seconds I found something warm against my lips. My eyes widened as I looked into the brown eyes of Sasori, a smirk plastered on his lips as he kissed me. After what felt like forever, he backed away, I was stil stunned beyond belief.

What the hell just happened?


	8. Best Efing day ever

**Numbah 8...**

**Yepp...**

**So, I'm having fun, how about the rest of ya'll?**

**I still have yet to get the Flame... dang...**

**Just, have fun... this one took awhile, srry if it is not up to par with the rest.**

**^.~ fall1ng4U**

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><p>What the hell just happened?<p>

Your mom's what happened.

Just kidding… ANYWAY…

Yepp… can you say _awkward_…

So, sasori just kissed me, and now, I'm in shock… that is until laughing gets me out of it.

"I'll fucking kill you, you blonde terrorist…" I muttered as I closed my eyes and seethed… Dammit… I can't have Sasori… Sam has Sasori… Emi has Gaara, Nikki has Neji, Ashley has Kisame, Amanda has Kiba… and I am the Sharingan whore…

Fuck my life…

Within seconds, everything became a blurr… My mother walked through the door…

Double Fuck.

"Heather?" She called out hesitantly, eyes widened…

"WHY DIDN'T YOU HIDE YOU NUT CASES!" Damn, someone's loosing eardrums.

"What is this?" Mom called out again.

I sighed. "THIS" I indicated with my hands, "Is what the kittens turn into when you put them in cold water… Low and behold… The infamous Akatsuki… Now turn into kittens before she kicks your ass." I looked at all of the criminals. "Konan can stay, mom met her." I smiled at Konan as she smiled back.

POOF!

"Woah, What the fuck was that!" My mom screamed as she pointed to the group of kittens all gathered at my legs, Konan right beside me.

"The kittens you got me. They turn into people." I shrugged.

Mom just blinked… and blinked… and blinked again.

"Is she broken, un?" Deidara asked.

"Nope, giver her, 5… 4… 3… 2…" I used my hand to indicate her, and after the countdown was done, she sighed, and ran a hand over her head, doing the peanut thingy. For those of you that have never seen Jeff Dunham, watch it.

"Wow…" Konana muttered next to me.

"Tell me about it… mommy, please don't tell dad, he'll want to get rid of them, and I've grown an attatchment…" I swear, my eyes were big puppy dog things, and that's why she took pity on me.

Hours later… well, more like when everyone was gone but me and my momma.

"Why don't you introduce me to them?" She asked, out of the blue might I add.

"Mkay… GUYS COME DOWN HERE!" I yelled toward the direction of the stairs.

They all came piling down, one ofter the other, with Konan in the lead, in human form.

"Okay, transform." After that was said and done, I started my intros…

"Everyone, this is my mom, Candy. You can also call her mom, mommy, or lady… Mommy this is leader, or Pein, or Pein-sama… he is god… in a way. This is Konan, second in command to Pein-sama, also his partner in missions. Next it Zetzu, he will try to eat you, so bewere… Then there is Tobi, an Akasuki subordinant. He's a little sweetheart, but he never takes off his mask. Next is Kakuzu, he is very old, and has multiple hearts, that is how he lived so long… Though he is hot…" She chuckled at this as she continued shaking hands. "Next is Hidan, Kakuzu's partner… stop thinking that you perv… he has a very bad temper and can probably beat you when it comes to cussing. He is also an active Jashinist."

"So that's were you got that name from. I was wondering why you used it instead of god… same thing with pein's name…"

I laughed and continued. "This is Deidara, he is an artist, but unlike his partner Sasori, Deidara believes that art is fleeting. He specializes in Explosions. Fun fact, Deaidara has three other mouths that aren't on his face. One on each hand, and one on his chest." Mom made a funny noise and gave me a weird look as she shook his hand.

"Does that mean he licked me?" She asked amazed as she looked at her hand.

"Probobly, ask him if you taste good later, but for now, wipe your hand, there are three other people. Sasori is Deidara's partner, as I said before, but he believes that art is forever, kind of like a painting. Sasori specializes in puppetry, Fun fact, Sasori gave up his human body to get rid of his emotions. He is still working on becoming a full puppet, but cannot due to the fact that he can't survive without his heart."

"So, what side of art do you belong on?" She asked me.

"Neither and both. Art flows, whether it is forever, or just a moment. I specialize in song… great now I'm talking about myself…" I grumbled before going on to the last of the introductions. "Fishy here, is Kisame. He is part shark. He is one of the seven swordsmen, he wields Samehida, a chakra sonsuming sword. His partner is Itachi Uchiha. Itachi killed his entire clan, save his younger brother. Because he killed his best friend, Itachi has been able to use the Mangekyo Sharingan… He has mastered it."

"Isn't Itachi the one you have a crush on?" Mom asked with a smirk.

"I would rather not go into that conversation, because last time, he ignored me for 2 – 3 days…"

Do you know what she did… she laughed. The bitched laughed at me… great mom, love you to.

"I'm taking a shower." I walked into the bathroom, grabbed a couple of towels and walked out, but stopped by the living room again. "My offer still stands, Konan." With that said, I walked up the stairs and into the bathroom.

Now, to sort out my thoughts… I love Itachi, I'm not gunna lie, or make up an excuse, I love him… he just doesn't like/trust me… I will not say yes, because that is in my wildest dreams, and I am still trying to tell myself that this is a dream.

Sasori kissed me, let alone it was a dare, but he did it… Sam is gunna kill me… she is head over heels for this man. Great, If any of the others kiss me, I might be okay… but Sasori, Nope.

Fucking shit… these bastards really are evil… Tommorrow is going to be hell… how am I going to break it to everyone, that my kittens are the Akatsuki?

Great, Hot waters all out… must have been thinking longer then nessisary…

I forgot my clothing… effing amazing…

Jashin help whoever crosses my path.

Within seconds, I was walking across the hall to my room. Lucky me, I never put my clothing away and leave it in the basket, then throw it on the floor… I do a lot of laundry… don't judge me…

Well that was fun, lets change here so I don't have to embarrass myself by walking through the hallway in a towel again… Oh look, My bed is made, I didn't do it… my books are organized… someone has OCD… Itachi's sitting in my gamer chair, his face buried in a book…

Wait… WHAT!

Apperently I made a noise, because he looked my way… and I am only wearing my bottoms and underwear… nope, no shirt… nope, no bra… just fucking fantabulous…

Best Effing day ever…


End file.
